Why don't coworkers invite me to hang out?

[cathyd]

I worked at the same place with the same people for 10 years. We always got along great, sat and ate lunches together, gossipped together, etc. I would get invited to group outings, ie Christmas parties, baby showers, etc, but often would hear coworkers talking about getting together to go shopping, or visiting each others houses, and would feel very hurt that after all this time nobody ever asks me to hang out or get together with them. I ended up leaving that job this past year for personal reasons, and was told they were going to throw me a farewell party after the holidays, but they never did. Since I still pick up occasional shifts there as a fill-in, they have seen me many times, so there was definitely the opportunity to plan it. They even invited me to a baby shower for a coworker, and a farewell party for another worker who was moving away (and she didn't even work in our department!) Imagine how hurtful this is for me! When I was a FT employee there, everyone seemed to consider me a "friend", and they threw me a really nice baby shower for me and took up a collection when I had a personal tragedy in my life. I am facebook friends with all of them, and they will "like" or comment on my posts, but nobody ever makes an effort to communicate with me. I once texted a "friend" who has a daughter close in age to set up a playdate--she said she was going on vacation. I had hoped she would contact me when she returned, but never did. I decided not to pursue it, because it just makes me feel depressed that I have to be the one to initiate such things. I'm starting to feel like there's something wrong with me. My husband is my best friend, but I really wish I had a girlfriend to hang out with and confide in. I haven't really had any good friends in over 20 years

[Pixiep]

I think you should stop taking this stuff personally. People have lives that they get caught up. You may not know why it is easier for two people to hang out etc... Stop pouting and start making more of an effort. The women who went on vacation? Call her. I am sure she just forgot! you can't make it all everyone else is fault. Be PROACTIVE instead of reactive.

[mistermister]

you don't bs enough with them or their racist

[Martin]

Wow seems like over acting mellow dramatic drama queen syndrome. this may enlighten you. when some of us go to work we go to get the job and whe work done its not social lets make friends hour. thats not why we work as a group. if a freindship happens to develop then so be it. but over all alot of us dunt enclude friendship in the equation of work. gotta a job to do and its not getting hung up or sweet on you. simple and as cold as that.

[Bobby]

Maybe you're going to make new friends.