I feel so bad for how I'm treating my friend. What do I do :(?

[How]

For the past 2 years she's been nothing but nice to me, even though I sometimes treated her like I don't even like her, but I really really do! I think she's awesome and so beautiful (I'm not a lesbian btw...but just saying) I'm not intentionally trying to hurt that but she doesn't know that

I ignore her all the time, act awkward and weird with her, I'd talk to her through texting and facebook all night but then act like a stranger in person...The other day she was sitting by herself in class (the teacher had told us we could go and sit with whomever we wanted) because her group went to different tables with their friends...so she was staring at me (I sit on the other side of the room) but I just stayed at my table and avoided eye contact with her. I feel so bad and that same day she posted all these sad things on twitter/facebook saying "today was horrible, brought back bad memories I've tried so hard to forget.." And I feel like that may have been directed at me because I used to do that to her all the time, ignore her even though she was staring at me trying to get my attention...Like one day we were talking just fine, had a great conversation...Then the next day she had walked into class and sat down, smiled at me, and was staring at me for about 15 seconds, waiting for me to finish talking to the person I was talking to. But I pretended not to notice, then when I finished talking to the girl, she was still staring, but I was pretending to read something on this paper I was holding. Then she just sighed and turned around, stayed quiet the rest of class.

Ever since we first met 2 years ago (sophomore year) she was so friendly and nice to me, then as time went on...I didn't reciprocate very well, and all the bad treatment, ignoring her randomly...she then got more apprehensive around me. She stares at me all the time... I feel terrible...and still to this day she is so nice, compliments me a lot, she's done so much for me...On my birthday she got me the hugest gift, she was the first person to call to say happy birthday. On the first day of school, she seemed so happy to see me, hugged me, always said hi and seemed so happy when she'd see me in the halls. But now we both just look the other way when we see each other or she'll just stare at me. She's so forgiving...when I apologize, she forgives me right away (although I've only apologized for this once and that was a year ago). I still continued to do what I apologized for. And the other day she posted something about that...and I just know it was directed at me...I'm sure.

But the reason I'm treating her this way has nothing to do with her, I actually unintentionally do this to a lot of people because i'm dealing with some personal issues right now...I'm not trying to be rude =/

And for the past 2 weeks I haven't talked to her at all. In class, she stares at me all the time. But I never make eye contact with her...I don't want her to think I don't like her or something...that would be dumb. I have no reason NOT to like her. But my "issues" is being resolved so I'm feeling a lot better, but anyways what should I do?

[teknique]

start being nice to her. you say your issues are being resolved, so now you don't have any reason not to treat your friend how she deserves to be treated. your friend seems like a very nice girl.

[Anonymous200]

If I were you I'd start treating her a lot better, she obviously treats you very well and cares about you so if you care about her as a friend then start doing the same.

[Colleen]

It sounds like some emotional issues are involved with the 2 of you.
A friend is not like a toy you can choose to pick up and play with, or leave it laying on the floor in the corner of the room. You may be her only friend, Be careful how you treat others.One single word or action can make or break someone. Especially if its someone you love. She must really care for you to still want to be your friend after the way you have treated her. She may have low self esteem. A friend is good to have when you have "issues". That's not the time to tune friends out. Perhaps you should set time aside to spend some time with her and tell her some of what you have said here on yahoo.You sound like you like her,but you are afraid of being around her at the same time..I hope you two work it out. True friends are few in a persons life. Be wise